Who
Gets Well: New Choices
by Barbara D. Allan
Author of Conquering Arthritis
This newsletter is the fourth in a series on the whys
and hows of emotional, mental, and spiritual healing.
Over the years, I have spoken with many people who
either have, or once had, arthritis. One of the most
striking things about those who are able to completely
heal themselves is that they have integrated emotional,
mental, and spiritual healing with their attention to
their physical bodies. This has reinforced my own knowing
that, with an illness as difficult as arthritis, it
is generally mandatory to address the body but that
alone isn't enough.
The last newsletter explored the importance of dropping
the 'old story.' This newsletter explores what it takes
to live the new choices.
Walking My Talk
As many of you already know, in 2004 I spent time in
the hospital with viral meningitis induced by the West
Nile virus. It its own way, this experience was as painful
and incapacitating as anything I experienced when I
had arthritis. During the following year my recovery
was slow and I had periods of relapse: high levels of
fatigue associated with cognitive difficulties.
Fully healing from the meningitis demanded that I take
everything I learned about healing from arthritis and
take it to the next level in my life. I had to walk
my talk about healing with more integrity and, it turns
out, with more joy than ever before.
The Old Story
As I discussed in the last newsletter, the first step
was to identify the emotional and mental patterns that
were underlying this cycle of relapses.
In this case, I discovered that I was feeling tired
of my life. I was agreeing to do things I didn't enjoy
in order to please others, and I was refusing to face
fear and anger that was blocking me from living a full
and passionate life. I was shutting down who I am and
hiding, unable to even think about alternatives. Although
I had made life changes and engaged with fear and anger
to heal my arthritis, there was more work to do to heal
this aliment.
The New Choice
In order to heal and stay healed, I began to pay attention
to things that are exciting to me, that wake me up (even
if they scared me or were things I wasn't 'supposed'
to do). I went rock climbing. I got up on the roof when
my shingles needed fixing. I made my
meditation CD set. I said yes to a new teaching opportunity.
I gave myself permission to play online solitaire without
hassling myself about it. I started making this newsletter
more interesting to me.
Bottom line, I realized that I have to feel the fear
and anger and do it anyway, even if it is scary or I
think people will not approve. I have to let my light
shine, even risking that it might irritate or offend
other people. I have to do things for no other reason
than it pleases me.
Sustaining New Choices
Of course, the trick to healing isn't just making the
new choice. It's holding that new determination every
moment of every day, day in, day out. In other words,
making it stick.
When I do relapse into old disempowering mental or
emotional patterns, I can feel the fatigue and mental
cloudiness begin to set in. As long as I catch that
relapse quickly though, it doesn't snowball. (With the
arthritis, catching inflammation at very early stages
was also the key to breaking out of that cycle.)
It helps to catch it early. I feel myself losing ground
and I look around at my life and ask 'What would give
me pleasure?' It helps to have old standbys (like a
good game of solitaire or going to a movie with my sweetheart).
And it helps to have new possibilities... I recently
purchased a used skateboard and knee pads that are just
waiting for the right day.
In this way I have been able to train myself step-by-step,
moment by moment to hold a stronger space of physical
health. In the last year, I have been able to stop the
relapses after only feeling off for a few hours and
I am consistently feeling really good again.
Next: Determination
to Heal
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